BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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