It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
