it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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