You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize