I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
