Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
