why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My dick has a subreddit
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
