I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
