Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We are two peas in an std pod
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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