What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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