Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
