My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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