My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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