so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
