It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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