:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
