dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
