barbara walters just said penis...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
