That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
