Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
