Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
