The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
