Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
