Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
