Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
