i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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