Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I love how my cats smell like pot.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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