I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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