You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
