Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
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