Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My liver just had a heart attack.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
