We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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