the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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