He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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