I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
