You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
