She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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