After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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