Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wish you could order shots online.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
