That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
