is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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