ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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