If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
