doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
