i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
