Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
