He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
