I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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