I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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