Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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