Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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