I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
