You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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