Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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