I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize