maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
