I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
