are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
