You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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