I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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