Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
