It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Randomize
